I cannot cope with the realization.
I do annoy people for no reason.
With much ignorance and holding up to
a big ruler of self-made truth.
But what is truth anyway?
In the end, I am just distressing myself;
On my own time, energy, and resources.
I am just being foolish --- especially because
committing this knowingly,
uncontrollable to myself.
Am I insecure? Am I nuts?
What am I trying to prove?
and --- who cares?
I told myself every night
to stop this nonsense and start a new;
A freshly newly reinvented me.
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